Last week, an article named ‘Six Sydney Style Stereotypes By Suburb: Which One Are You?‘ was all up in local social media. We read, we laughed, and at times we face-palmed. We feel that every suburb has their moments, both fashionable and very not, but we also acknowledge that generalising them under one style is a lot of fun too. Still, most Surry Hilfiggas will scoff at their suburb being labeled as ‘Normcore’ *shiver* and if you’ve ever used the term ‘Seaside Hipster’ in real life, congratulations – you’ve successfully set humanity back a few decades. We decided to continue on this tangent (for a LOL) and offer six more style stereotypes that slipped from the radar – both male and female. So, we ask, which one are you?*
Train Station Luxe
Location: Your local train station.
Style Icons: DMX, Trent From Punchy, Eminem, Damo (Ciggie Butt Brain)
Description: Train Station Luxe, also known as Lad Luxe, is the disheveled and co-opted cousin of the Sports Luxe movement. It places an emphasis on brands heavily bootlegged at market stalls across the country, often with athletic aesthetic: Ruff Ryders, Fubu and Ecko jerseys are garments of choice, which are worn obnoxiously oversized. Traditionally, these are coupled with tracksuit pants and ‘Speed Dealer’ style sunglasses. The Nike TN, once reserved largely for people committing break and enters, has surged in popularity among fashion people. In 2013, Drake infamously wore Train Station Luxe staple brand Dada in the clip for ‘No New Friends’. Even MIA noted that bootleggers heavily inspired her recent collaboration with Versace. Train Station Luxe is drunk and stumbling violently towards mainstream fashion.
Smart Casual Clubber
Location: Kings Cross, Sydney CBD, wherever there is pulsating progressive house music.
Style Icons: The cast of Jersey Shore and Geordie Shore
Description: A tenuous, lacklustre distortion of the Menswear trend, the Smart Casual Clubber wears a uniform with the intent of gaining entry into Sydney’s more exclusive (read: expensive) nightspots. Staple items include a collared shirt purchased from Tarocash or Industrie, the same shirt worn while attending local court for public urination, public intoxication and resisting arrest outside The Ivy at 3:25am. On a boys’ night out, it will be generously half-unbuttoned to reveal a gold chain tangled in a bed of untamed chest hair. This is complimented by a white belt and white loafers (colour coordination is a must), and enough hair gel to bolster down a house in a hurricane. After walking down the main strip of Kings Cross or George St, Smart Casual Clubbers bring a waft of cheap cologne as they attempt to entice women on the dancefloors of their favourite haunts, where they mutter half-hearted pick-up lines while Avicii remixes blare obnoxiously over the speakers.
Location: Chinatown, Strathfield, Ashfield
Style Icons: Hello Kitty, Sailor Moon, Gwen Stefani’s Harajuku Girls
Description: An interesting cross-cultural issue arises when asking why many have adopted the Super-Kawaii trend pioneered by the Japanese and largely embraced by Asian cultures generally. Perhaps an even more laborious study would question why wearing fluroscent tube socks and replicating anime characters is considered ‘cute’ by Super-Kawaii fans, rather than ‘socially awkward’ and ‘hindering my chances of gaining stable employment’. Nevertheless, this hasn’t stopped Super-Kawaii from sweeping through many suburbs of Sydney in a flurry of bubble tea dispensaries and sticker photo booths. Stores like Morning Glory have been capitalising on this trend for years with their large array of plush soft toys and useless colourful shit. We’re sure that many guys are greener than edamame beans with envy that they don’t have Super-Kawaii girlfriends to take on frozen yoghurt dates.
Street Goth Fuccboi
Location: Sydney CBD
Style Icons: Watch The Throne era Kanye West, A$AP Rocky, all 27253 members of the extended A$AP Mob
Description: The Street Goth Fuccboi dedicates their life to emulating Yeezy’s darkest style incarnation: lots of androgynous, black garments mixed with streetwear staples. It’s a movement that has seen more brands take on monochrome palettes, hip-hop slogans and notes from high fashion and has evolved into a malignant plague on the streets of Sydney. The Fuccboi may refer to themselves as a ‘Fashion Killa’ and stylise their name with dollar signs. The low-end Fuccboi may mill around chain stores like Culture Kings or General Pants, but those with more money or richer parents may lurk to niche boutiques like Sneakerboy and Harrold’s. In between buying clothes that look like they belong on their girlfriends, the Fuccboi will spend the remainder of his time promoting his own clothing venture (heavily inspired by Rick Owens) on the Hypebeast forums and trying to convince himself that Yeezus is a good album.
Location: Western Sydney, outside your favourite strip club.
Style Icon: Nicki Minaj, Rihanna in the ‘Pour It Up’ video, Miley Cyrus
Description: Like Train Station Luxe, this trend seeks to resurrect style milestones from the nineties, as well as items that probably inhabit the deepest corners of Ashanti’s wardrobe: Large hoop earrings, faux fur jackets, bandanas and custom Timberland heels are commonplace. Also popular are basketball jerseys modified into mid-rifts (despite never having actually watched a game except via Space Jam). Common habits include saying ‘YOLO’, preferably while twerking to a track produced by Diplo or DJ Mustard. Undoubtedly, the rise of Ratchet Couture has been more noticeable ever since Miley Cyrus’ ‘We Can’t Stop’ came to mainstream attention. The controversial song effectively summarised the industry’s current obsession with hip-hop’s most delightfully distasteful aspects. Ratchet Couture aspirations include one day appearing on World Star Hip Hop and becoming a groupie of 2Chainz.
Location: Darlinghurst, Surry Hills, Newtown.
Style Icons: Azealia Banks, Lady Gaga, Spongebob Squarepants
Description: Tumblr Punk (encapsulating Seapunk and it’s pointlessly labelled spin-offs) has splashed from the ocean and onto the streets of Sydney, bringing a horde of intentionally tacky graphics and meme-friendly iconography along for the ride. We were convinced that these people only existed on Tumblr and occasionally popping molly in the back of raves, but alas, they exist in real life in growing numbers. With consistent nautical themes and imagery, it’s still unclear if Seapunk etc. subscribers actually enjoy swimming, for fear of damaging their garments which have clearly overdosed on turquoise sequins anyway. We’re also unsure of what Seapunk has to do with Punk Rock at all. We just know that somewhere, there’s a jaded old man in a leather jacket he wore to see The Clash in 1979, muttering to himself about how blasphemous this whole shit fight fashion movement is.
*Not a real question, please don’t ponder this seriously.